Daleks

If you are familiar with Doctor Who, you know of Daleks. I find Daleks adorable, which others find weird o.0 But of course, I consider odd things adorable I guess. Like snakes :3 Especially baby snakes :3 And Lord Vae Victis ;3 And I don't find certain things adorable that most people find adorable. Like puppies and children/babies. I find them rather grotesque, more ugly than a Harvestman. I cannot say they are uglier than certain spiders, or creepier rather 'cause they aren't really /ugly/ in my opinion, just creepy. They are still fascinating. Spiders, not children or puppies. Kittens and cats, however, are utterly adorable! My Puppy is almost as adorable, depending on which face he uses xD Sometimes he is just amusing :P I also greatly dislike flowerpots and anything I consider "tacky". Most "modern" style things, especially furniture, I do not like. I prefer more old-fashioned/sophisticated looking styles. That, and most anything cat-print, with cats on it, or my dark grayish-green I like :P Especially leopard-print, I love that style :3 Though if they had Ocelot-print I would take that in a heartbeat. And dark grayish-green cat print is also awesome :3 And black/dRk gray cat print. And a lot of black/dark gray things. Or even other colors green. But that color green that is "in" now - Kelly Green - is one of my least favorite greens. Of course, it all depends on what it is with and how much of it. And if it is shiny/sparkly, like my nail polish, then it isn't as bad. It is, after all, green. But generally anything with pink or yellow on it I do not like, unless it is like Pink Lemonade style or whatever. I am partial to black and green however, and dark tomato-y red. And browns. And pretty much any color that is more grayer and relatively dark. Yeah. Cornsnakes are adorable, despite their colors :P I prefer boa constrictors though. I love venomous snakes, but sadly they are, y'know, venomous :P O cannot exactly pet them. I both love and am terrified of Rattlesnakes and other Adders. Cobras I am simply wary of, they are gorgeous however. But for some reason I love Blue Racers. I know they aren't venomous, but they are so lovely. I am also morbidly interested in Massasauga (sp?) Rattlesnakes, as they are the only venomous snakes in our area. Really all snakes are gorgeous. I used to not be as afraid of spiders as I am now, probably 'cause I have not been as exposed to them as I used to be. Well, spiders outside are pretty much all perfectly fine, but spiders inside I don't like. Most I will kill, but if a Wolf Spider finds its way into the house I am more inclined to catch it and release it outside as I like them better 'cause I am less afraid of them as I have been around them my whole life. Though I have been around Harvestmen my whole life too, and I don't like those even though they are not venomous o.0 And Yellowjackets. I love Yellowjackets! So purty and adorable. I definitely respect them. Other wasps and hornets and bees I am not as fond of however. I have gotten stung by a bee before, in the foot in second grade, so that hurt and that is why I don't like bees. I don't like hornets or wasps because they look quite scary, especially Bullhead Hornets... -shiver- Those things are huge. Though big black wasps are just as scary, in their own way. I love Yellowjackets, I dunno why. I just had a stage in my life where whenever I saw a Yellowjacket stranded on the ground, either in jeopardy of being stepped on or they couldn't fly or both, I coaxed them onto my (unprotected) hand and found a flower or some grass to put them on. Yeah. I still like them, though I have more sense now. People find it odd that I like Yellowjackets. Anyhow. I also don't like most flowers, unlike the majority of humanity. I pretty much mostly only like Orchids. I like Cacti as well, but those are not flowers though some do flower :P I am just an odd person ^^

Interesting...

So far, two of my friends - probably my two best friends atm, actually - have reported having a vivid dream about killing me that they remembered quite well when they woke. One electrocuted me and the other chopped my head off. Of course, they both felt extremely bad about it. I'm more curious as to why they dreamed it in the first place. I have come to the conclusion that it is what they fear most, or at least something they fear greatly. Not killing /me/, necessarily, except perhaps in the case of the friend in whose dream I was electrocuted, but being the cause of someone they care about's death. The person who chopped my head off had had similar dreams before then, and others whom they care about were also in the line to be killed. And it was worse for that person because that person enjoyed it, and they did it for the crowd that was below cheering that person on. But there was someone behind that person, kind of - how I gathered it, anyway - like a puppeteer. It was in others of that person's dreams, too, always a pure black figure with cruel eyes and grotesque teeth, looking humanoid but one could tell it wasn't. In my opinion, that was the devil, or at least a thought of it. Of course, both of these friends are very similar, and both have the same thing, and I am curious as to whether such vivid, disturbing nightmares are a result of the syndrome. My dreams are never quite as vivid; even the more vivid ones are more just feelings of what is there rather than seeing anything. And I never have dreams about killing anyone, oddly enough. Mine are always really odd dreams that are not terrifying or disturbing to anyone but me, frequently me trying to find something, and usually having some group of people around my which at least one member soon becomes my ally, and often involve heights - my most recent had a waterslide (I was a part of this... Not field trip, per se, more like just a trip, and I found out that something was wrong but I couldn't do anything, I could just go along with it but I found another with a like mind and we were undercover, and there was more before this but I cannot remember any of it but we were in a building and then outside, and we went to some stairs with the rest of the group, I was scared but he said that it just led up to the waterslide and for some reason that calmed me down, and I went up the waterslide steps without much fear but then we got to the waterslide - we had to go down in order to get to where we needed to go - and I was terrified again but he went down the waterslide next to me and I knew I had to so I went down the waterslide thinking "how bad can it be" but I got even more terrified as I felt like I was flying through the air really fast 'cause I didn't stay in my water slide, and I nearly had a heart attack - then my friend [the same one that dreamed of electrocuting me] Skype-called me and I had never been so happy to wake from a dream) and they used to have to do with an entire yard covered in thick spider webs that I couldn't get through, and when he was still alive most dreams had him as well, usually having to do with heights like a giant glass wall that I was on top of and huge glass steps that were far apart that I had to go up. Yeah, so theirs' are undoubtedly worse. I just don't have that type of dream, which is apparently odd. Maybe something isn't different with them, maybe it is with me that I don't dream about those and instead about trifling stufff like my own peril, especially as I know I won't die, because I always arrive safely to where I need to be 'cause I can manipulate my dreams like that. Whatever it is, this is an interesting discovery. I wonder if anyone else in the NSC has had nightmares about killing one of their friends or more than one..? Now I am darkly curious about this...

Sigh......

I hate hurting people when I don't mean to....

Pandora

I fail. I finally realized that there was a music app :P And so Pandora is now on my iPad. Which is good, 'cause I can now finally listen to music while iPad-ing. Which I love to do. 'Cause YouTube doesn't have the music going while you are anywhere else but that page - with this you can be doing anything. And it is awesome - I had heard this song so many times, I FINALLY KNOW WHAT IT IS! :D I am listening to my A7X channel and the song Blurry by Puddle of Mudd came on. I finally know it... Wow. I fail epically. But now I have music :3 Me gusta. My frazzled nerves are much happier with music ^^ ~~

-Dislike-

I HATE it when someone's parent thinks that you is the recipient of bad parenting just because you weren't brought up the same way as THEIR kid! Especially when, because of that, they look down on you! That severely pisses me off! And thus makes me dislike them. Because I HATE being looked down upon! I find that very offensive and rude and judgmental. I also hate it when they assume things that are not true, just because that isn't the way they do it in THEIR household. It makes me ill to think of it. As well as very, VERY angry.

I Know...

I was better before I started dating Mike, and I am sorry.. I am sorry that I changed and to the extent. I wish I could be as close of friends with Evan as I was before, he was my best friend you know. And I wish I did not make people feel awkward so often, it makes me feel awkward and sorry. I am trying to fix it... To become better how I should be, perhaps how I was before. But... I am not sorry for loving Mike, and accepting his request. You may not believe it, but he is the best thing to happen to me. Nothing you say can change that. You all are my friends, and I am very happy to have you people, you guys got me through the worst of things. But Mike is my comfort, my forever. I hope you understand. But I need you guys as much as I need him, and I don't want to lose any of you. Ever. I know I have never told you how much you mean to me, but I am telling you all now. I love you all, in a totally non-creepy way :3

Figures

It seems that I have a craving for Mexican food this morning. Especially refried beans and cheese. That is not unusual in itself, but it is good that we are (hopefully) going to a Mexican place this morning or afternoon, so I don't have to eat my Santa Fe Rice and Beans frozen dinner - I generally prefer eating frozen dinners for breakfast, like that or Enchilada Suiza, rather than for dinner - that is just when I feel like eating that kind of food :P Yes, it is odd. For most. But normal for me. I just do not crave normal breakfasty foods in the morning; I prefer those for dinner or dessert :P